So it's exactly two weeks and two days since I saw those two blue lines on the pregnancy test.
These 16 days have been marked by an appointment at the Health Centre who will administer my first of two pills to 'expel' the pregnancy.
The first pill will be given to me on Thursday and will be followed up by the final pill on Saturday at my local hospital in East London.
I've only told two people - neither of which are the father.
I have just come off the phone to one of the people I have confided in. She is a very good friend of mine (let's call her Friend 1), with a background in Midwifery so she is medically knowledgeable but also has the words of wisdom and sympathetic tones that are very much needed right now.
Anyway, Friend 1 has expressed some concern that I might be suppressing my feelings as I appear to be coping a little too well.
Maybe she is right, but I knew right from the start that I wasn't going to go ahead with this pregnancy and my brain has been geared towards this decision ever since.
I have always been of the thought that even though I am 30 years old, I am still quite unfulfilled. As a response, I wouldn't be able to provide for this child emotionally or otherwise. I have concerns that I may never be given such a 'gift' ever again but right now I am in no position to raise a baby.
